Between Hope and Reality
In this two week wait, I try to be hopeful but I also am trying to keep my feet on the ground. The amount of hope equals to the amount of disappointment I get if things do not work out. So besides making a list of things I’d like to do if I get a BFP (beg Dr.R to also be my OB), I am also making a list of things I’d like to do if it is a Big F#&%@# Negative.
1. Get a new hairdo. I’ve had long hair for the last couple years and I think it’s time to cut it short. It’d feel nice to get a new hairdo, a perm and dye my hair. My hairdresser kindly mentioned I have a lot of grey hair hidden underneath and dyeing would hide that as well as look good for short hair.
2. Go to Napa. I went to napa earlier this year (again after finding out about a BFN…) and I thoroughly enjoyed the trip. Went to Opus One for a tour and purchased the famous (and expensive) bottle of wine. Won’t go there again but some other wineries and maybe also get a massage in Calistoga.
3. Go watch Hunger Games. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Hunger Games books. Loved the first movie, fell in love with Jennifer Lawrence. I can’t wait to see Catching Fire on screen.
Yes, going to the movies I can do even if I am pregnant. #1 and #2 I can only do if I’m not. I know people say it’s safe but I don’t want to risk anything with the chemicals from a perm and dye. Also of course I can’t drink if it’s a BFP but having a glass (or more) of wine during Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with friends and family would be my silver lining.
So yes, I’m making another list on top of my things-to-be-thanksful list so that I have something to look forward to if it’s a BFN this time.
On a side note, I called an IVF clinic in town that got really good reviews on Yelp to make a consultation appointment. I knew they were pretty busy and some reviews said the wait list is a few months. I could make a reservation now for maybe March or April and we can start IVF IF we weren’t successful by then, right?
Lady on the other line tells me ‘yea, we’re booked through 2013 AND 2014. Would you like me to put you on the waiting list for 2015?’
‘Women, say what?!’
I wonder what kind of responses she gets from people like me who have been trying for YEARS or more that they need to wait another 14 months!!
After a few seconds of shock, I did give them my contact information as well as answer some good amount of questions about our medical history regarding fertility. If IUIs do not work out, I definitely will be looking into IVF but heck no, not waiting until 2015. I’ll have to find some other clinic and get some recommendations. I searched online but I’d rather get direct recommendations from either real-life friends or my friends on this blogsphere.
Not putting that one my list yet. For now, I’ll stick to my three: new hairdo, Napa and Jennifer Lawrence.
I’m off to Hawaii in 15 hours. Aloha!