IVF1.0 Update #11 – Cautiously Optimistic
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you already saw this yesterday morning:
Yup. Wondfo and CB digital telling me I’m pregnant. The cramps and bloating that started Saturday was not my period coming. I missed a dose of progesterone Saturday morning and was worried AF would start showing its ugly head soon. But that makes no sense. During IUIs, it took almost 5 days for AF to show up after stopping progesterone. I guess it was the HCG running through my blood. The cramps and the bloating was that tiny little pen-tip sized embryo(s) telling me it’s still alive and well.
I peed on a wondfo strip again this morning. The line’s darker but not significantly darker. I had DH look at it as well and he agrees it is darker. I would have thought the line would be much darker as today is already 10dp3dt. I’m trying to tell myself worrying about how dark the pink line is ridiculous at this point. I’ll just have to wait for beta to confirm. And since beta will be 13dp3dt, that number should be pretty high. 16 days after retrieval, 18 days after trigger.
This is my first BFP ever in my life. After 2 years of trying, almost 3 years of unprotected BD, I’m dazed. A bit confused. I was wondering that maybe my body just can’t get pregnant. Even with Dr. Nice’s assurance that he believes it is the tubes, I was doubting myself. I’m still not completely convinced I’m pregnant. I’ll need that beta number. I’ll need to hear a heartbeat or two to ease my mind.
42 self injected shots. 5 blood draws. 5 ultrasounds. This is the summary of my IVF. This doesn’t count the numerous other shots and blood draws and ultrasounds for my 6 IUIs. Doesn’t count the laparoscopy to diagnose and treat endometriosis. And of course the acupuncture needles that I’ve now gotten used to but still cringe every time those needles go in.
It is February 18th, 2014 and I am pregnant.
I am grateful and thankful. The last few months, I have grown so much spiritually. I felt close to God than ever before. It’s not just being spiritually comforted. It’s about understanding a fraction of what God must have felt giving his only son for us. So many of us in this community will do anything to have a baby. Imagine having to give him/her away. I can’t even fathom it. I know God is with me through all of this. Whatever happens, he will comfort me. And he will give me what I need. I believe.
Update: Since I wrote the above, I called the doctor’s office to change my beta to Thursday. I didn’t give a reason, just asked if it could be moved up a day and the receptionist asked the nurse who said it’s okay. In about 48 hours, I will have another reassurance. Please stay with me. Please.