For most of the symptoms list here on this article related to pregnancy depression, I fit most of the profile. I realized today that it may not be just the hormones. And the realization that it may be because of what I went through with infertility oddly made things feel a little better. And after speaking to a doctor today after my first OB appointment, I feel like I might be on the path to recovery. Realization is the first step, right?
Maybe it’s the hormones. No, it has to be the hormones. But the thought of twins are overwhelming my entire core being more and more every day. Besides the day we saw the two sacs for the first time on the ultrasound, every since that day, I have been terrified. I am still terrified.
How am I going to survive another 4 weeks, a month in this condition? Nauseous all the time, headache all the time, no appetite, no desire to do anything. I feel depressed.
Nothing had changed much since the last ultrasound. I was getting more crankier (yes, I know, I agree DH) with the headaches, nausea, fatigue and recently, drop in appetite. I feel better after eating a meal but finding something that I feel like I can eat is challenging. And even if I wanted to eat it, getting that food into my mouth is an additional hurdle.
Warning: Ultrasound pictures below. I *totally* understand seeing ultrasound pictures can be hard on some of us going through this journey called infertility. Please skip if your heart doesn’t allow it.
Finally. The day of the ultrasound. Got there on time, sat down and then DH asks ‘does your bladder need to be full’? I looked it up online quickly and yes. It’s better to have a full bladder. So I start chugging. We were led to the back room quite after our original appointment time. I get that I’m not priority and I’m completely okay with it.
The past week and a half have been physically drowning. I am tired – or exhausted is more like it. Headaches come and go which are annoying. Starting a few days ago, Miss Nausea has visited and haven’t left. No puking or gagging yet but just feel like a bad hangover. Combined with the headache, it feels exactly like a hangover — except I didn’t have a fun time drinking the night before.