As a first time pregnant lady, I don’t know what contractions feel like. I’ve read about it, I’ve read about Braxton Hicks as well. In my mind, real contractions supposed to hurt. They are supposed to feel like period cramps, which I’m too familiar with due to stage 3 endometriosis. BH is supposed to be contractions that didn’t hurt, weren’t regular etc..
Looking back now.. they were all real contractions. I just didn’t know. I thought it was one of the boys curling up so tight that I could see his butt or head protruding out of my stomach. And every time it happened, I would show it to my husband and I’d laugh.. ‘Look at that honey, I wonder if it’s his butt or his head’. Goodness how silly was I!
When I found out that both embryos transferred had made it, I was dead scared. The joy of a positive beta was short lived and I was overwhelmed with the fear of my ability to carry twins in my petite 5’3″ 110lb frame. As the second trimester was about to end with no serious issues (other than some bleeding very early on while I was still under my RE’s care) I thought “maybe I am that lucky gal with no complications with twins”.
But life doesn’t always go as you hope…
I wrote this a few weeks ago and never posted it… here it goes…
It’s been forever since I wrote a post. These past 19 weeks of pregnancy has been overwhelming with emotions and physical challenges that I found myself slowly getting infertility amnesia. Forgetting that I was once an infertility gal and now just being one of the pregnant gals. The only reminder of it these days is that I’m carrying twins and I have to say ‘IVF’ every time someone asks ‘do twins run in your family?’
I have found other infertility-pregnancy posts/blogs useful. Just the fact that we share a common history distinguishes the seemingly mundane pregnancy update post from all the other ones.