Decisions

Last week we met with three REs at different IVF clinics.  Two were in person, one was over the phone.  I was little overwhelmed with the information each RE was giving me and they were all slightly different.  I summarized as best as I could with the information I thought was most important on making our final decision.

RE #1 – Dr. MyWay

This is the one that was over the phone.  It was definitely limiting but it went better than I expected.

The Big Talk

A couple weeks ago, DH and I came out of the closet — to our pastor.  We’ve been meeting with him every Friday for bible study the last few months.  It was always awkward when everybody shares their prayer requests because all I had in my mind was ‘baby’.  I didn’t want to share it with the bible study group, mostly younger single people, who we do not know very well.  But we trust our pastor.  So we told him our ‘health’ issues as I’ve vaguely told people were fertility treatments.  He prayed for us and asked us a few questions including whether we were considering adoption.

Taking Our First Steps To IVF

Status Update:

Nothing really to report on 4dpiui.  If fertilization was successful, it should implant sometime this week.  Although they say 6-12 after fertilization.  What’s up with that huge range?  Anyway, so not much else.  Progesterone pills are still not my favorite part of this ordeal but on this 6th cycle, it is getting easier.

I mentioned that our doctor recommended us three IVF clinics.  He agreed it’s a good idea to put our names on the list since the process of just getting started takes a long time.  So we contacted 3.

IUI #6 Was Here and Now It’s Gone

My 6th and last IUI cycle has turned out to be the worst cycle EVER.  Everything that could go wrong went wrong.

1. 5 ultrasounds – my follies were growing just ever so slowly.  I usually have 2 ultrasounds before an IUI.  It was 150% more time consuming as well as costly.

2. Previously, I responded well to Letrozole.  10mg a day for 5 days starting CD2 or 3.  This time I didn’t.  I ended up taking 5mg more for two days and it still didn’t help much.  I also had to go buy more Letrozole on Thanksgiving day and my insurance decides that’s the day they deny me coverage.  I paid a freaking $32 for 4 pills.

3. So the plan was to trigger Friday noon and IUI Saturday.  Nope, my body decides to mess with me and say ‘sorry I’m late, I’m going to ovulate NOW’.  So I get a positive OPK Thursday.  All morning (even during the night before) and afternoon I had ovulation cramps.  I triggered around 1pm when I confirmed with my doctor that I should trigger now and IUI Friday.  But come Thursday night, my ovulation pains were gone.  Yup, I was done.  EWCM that came a couple days ago, GONE.  My temps were high Thursday and Friday morning too.  If BBT is right, I ovulated possibly Wednesday or Thursday morning. Done.

4. DH’s numbers vary from bad to ‘okay’.  IUI #4 he had 1M motile swimmers after wash.  Yes, that low.  IUI #5 has been the best with 4.7M motile swimmers after wash.  Today’s number a whopping 1.5M.  His pre-wash motility was 8%.  Normal is 40% or more and ours was 8%.  His supplements are obviously not worth the $100/month.

They say IUI has a probability of what 20%? 25%?  I think it’s lower.. but with my endometriosis, me ovulating early (which is ironic, it was 5 days later than average) and DH’s swimmers, this cycle is doomed.  The worst part of all this is the progesterone supplements.  Sticking those things up my vagina 2 times a day sucks.  I don’t know why but I feel more violated doing that than sticking needles in my belly for menopur or HCG.

So there you go.  Our last IUI, a big mess of everything-can-go-wrong scenario.

But what makes me so miserable and depressed is that I am still hoping that miracle one sperm made it to an egg that somehow miraculously waited 24+ hours.

This is the ultimate definition of hope torture.

Career and Infertility Do Not Go Together

This cycle, my 6th and final IUI, is turning out to be out of the norm.  Which can be good since the previous 5 IUIs didn’t work, if everything went the same as always, it could mean the results are the same.

Today is CD14 which in other cycles I would have been done with the IUI.  This cycle, I’m yet to trigger.  I have had a total of 4 ultrasounds this cycle and one more scheduled tomorrow morning at 7:15.  All my other letrozole-only cycles have been 2 ultrasounds (one baseline, one before the IUI).  Doc says they are growing, just slowly.  He is worried they might now start growing very fast so he’s making me come in again just so we don’t miss the ovulation window.  I’m totally okay with the proactive, cautionary measures we are taking.  But my job and career is taking a big hit with this.